Rock, Paper, Innocence: A Memoir of Love and Loss by Steve Schuler

2/18/2024

Multi-volume author, Steve Schuler introduces us to his intimate memoir, "Rock, Paper, Innocence":
Struggling through his teenage years, he seldom smiled, rarely laughed. Then one day, while walking down the steps of Kimball high, a girl with mousey brown hair and a crooked smile stopped him mid-step. She asked his name. Said she knew his sister. Neither realized this would be the beginnings of a lifelong love affair—and much like the steps where they met, their journey would have its ups and downs. At seventeen, an anonymous letter would upend both their lives, but none as significant as cancer. Hoping to leave more than broken hearts and faded photographs, they decided to share their secrets. Swirling around a lifetime of memories was a medallion, a ring, an emerald cross, and an anonymous letter.

Writing this book has been an emotional release for me and helps soften the anger and lessen the hurt of a broken heart. I hope these writings will give insight into what shaped our destiny and how we became inseparable and forever in love. May our story also help heal your wounds as much as it has mine. I have heartfelt joy in sharing this story with you

I loved this memoir. I am almost the same age as the author and lived through many similar circumstances. High School was torturous in many ways, not the least of which was asking girls out on dates. The Vietnam War and the protests against it are a familiar backdrop for me. I did not get drafted because the war was winding down. I still have my draft card.
Steve's story of Ryan and Lilla is so much more than any of those phases of life, this story goes to the heart of how difficult it can be to create and build a family. There are so many things that work against any success in that endeavor.
Ryan and Lilla are archetypes of so many teens in many decades. Fabulous story and good writing!

You can buy this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Rock-Paper-Innocence-Memoir-Love-ebook
https://www.goodreads.com/-rock-paper-innocence
You can connect with the author:
https://steveschuler.com
https://twitter.com/whizwordoz
https://www.facebook.com/Whizword

Copyright @ 2024 Mark Schultz except for the author’s introduction

37 Comments

Steve Schuler link

2/19/2024 08:55:08 am

Hi Mark,

Thank you for your well-thought-out review. You captured the essence of my story, and I'm glad you found it relatable.

Mark

2/19/2024 10:56:57 am

You are welcome, Steve. I enjoyed your book a lot.

Welcome to the Word Refiner channel. The home of the only live interview for authors on the internet. I know, I am bragging, but it's all I have. The advantage of this live format is that anyone can join in and ask their own questions. Let's get started.

First question.

Please, tell us more about yourself. Perhaps something a little bit beyond your bio.

2/19/2024 03:45:21 pm

My bio is a bit skimpy.

What most people don't know about me is my passion for bicycle riding. On my fourth birthday, my grandfather, Westley, gifted me a bike, and I have never looked back. I still ride today at the age of seventy-five. My typical daily ride is 25 to 40 miles for a weekly total of more than one hundred miles. My wife also rides, and we do charity rides a few times yearly. They are usually 100 miles.

Riding is very meditative, and I carry a voice recorder to capture my thoughts for future writing. I have two books in the works: one is a follow-up to my first memoir, and the second is anecdotal stories and training experiences from my competitive racing days.

My other passion is music. I play the guitar, although not very well. The learning process is endless; you can never own it. The same holds true for writing.

2/19/2024 05:10:42 pm

Riding is a good activity. I had to give it up a long time ago for prostate issues.

The voice recorder is a great idea.

Music is another wonderful creative expression. Many authors are involved in music one way or another. Me? I play the stereo.

New questions.

Are you a full-time or part-time writer?

What kind of work do you do if you are a part-time writer? Feel free to skip that question, if you would rather not answer.

2/19/2024 07:28:36 pm

I am not a full-time writer, but I write nearly every day. Much of the time, it is about politics or political ideology. Sometimes, an unusual experience will motivate me to write. Because of my psychology and mental health counseling background, I'm curious about behavior, and I tend to study people, but not in a creepy way (so say I).
I have dabbled in writing comedy and often think I should try stand-up comedy. Writing it is one thing; delivering it in a comedic way is quite another.
I work part-time managing rental properties but don't have regular work hours. My wife works full-time, so I take care of household duties. But I'm not a kept man :) My wife, Lisa, may disagree.

2/19/2024 08:31:15 pm

People are funny and they offer nearly inexhaustible source material for students of human behavior and that includes pretty much every writer that has ever lived.

New question.

How has writing changed your life?

steve schuler link

2/20/2024 04:54:33 pm

Ahhh, what a difficult question.
Writing began as a means of survival for me. In my memoir, I write about growing up in a dysfunctional family and being unable to express myself openly. At an early age, I began writing about what troubled me. Sometimes, it would be one or two sentences. I would then rip it up and throw it away before my father would find it. Writing became a means of survival. It would vent my frustration and quell my anger. Eventually, it turned into a form of self-therapy, and I found that I had a lot to say.
Most of my memoir was written during the ten months my wife, Linda, was battling cancer. I would write and then read to her. It was our life story and a wonderful time of sharing and reminiscing.
I would be a very angry old man if I couldn't process my thoughts with the written word.

2/20/2024 05:16:58 pm

Wow. It is a deep question, without a doubt. It is one of my newer questions.

I suspect that writing is a life-altering experience for many authors. Quite a few have told me they write to quiet or give expression to the voices in their head. I suspect doing the latter allows the former to occur.

Reminiscing with a loved one is beneficial and can build harmony for both.

New question.

Does your work, past or present, have any influence on your writing?

2/21/2024 08:46:20 am

The first thing that came to mind when I read your question was that work has hampered my writing. Unlike the guy in the circus who can keep ten plates spinning on a pole, I can only focus on one or two. Admittedly, work has financially allowed me to pursue hobbies that have been an excellent source for writing. I have two short stories published in national magazines—one about my first solo in a sailplane and the other about a sailing adventure that went so wrong I almost drowned.
So, the short answer is no; work only gave me the time and money to follow my passions.

2/21/2024 10:26:05 am

That is a great perspective. Many authors respond as you first thought. They complain how work gets in the way of writing more and they wish they could write fulltime.

That guy in the circus amazed me as a boy and still does to this day. Keeping the plates spinning is a matter of mass and energy. I am sure that the plates are specifically made for that purpose also.

Congratulations on those short stories being published.

New question.

How long had you been writing before either of those stories were published?

2/21/2024 02:17:24 pm

I began writing with intention about four years before my first story, Mayflyer, was published in 2016. A friend invited me to join a writer's group that meets every Saturday. I didn't read much at first because I lacked confidence. When I had the opportunity to read my sailing story in front of the writer's group, one member suggested sending it to a sailing magazine. I sent a query letter to two magazines. One said the word count was too high; the other bought my story. That day, I moved from a guy writing short stories to an author with conviction.

2/21/2024 03:08:48 pm

Good story and a good friend. He saw something in you and his faith provided the leverage you needed. I love it.

New questions.

Did you do any research on writing query letters or merely tried to follow their requirements for submitting a story?

Are you still in the writers group?

2/21/2024 05:39:45 pm

I am naive when it comes to marketing and promoting my work. I emailed the editor and gave them the gist of the story and the word count. That was all, nothing sophisticated or very professional.

The writer's group was cliquish, and I didn't fit the mold. Oddly, it was helpful. They reviewed my writing critically and tended to lather praise on those who were friends. It wasn't terribly bad, but it was obvious. I benefited from solid criticism, and I deserved it.

2/21/2024 06:11:34 pm

The learning curve can be steep when embarking on a new adventure. Writing is a grand and glorious adventure, one that can never be won but your writing can always improve.

Your experience in that writer's group is similar to many others. A clique is only the beginning. In some groups, the leader is the only one who is published, and some leaders like to keep it that way. In other groups, the members find that their writing is criticized if it isn't similar to the leader's writing style. Not all groups are bad, by any means, but those are common complaints.

New questions.

Have you ever seen a ghost or had some other type of supernatural experience?

Have you ever seen a UFO or UAP, Unidentified Aerial Phenomena?

2/22/2024 09:46:56 am

I have never seen a ghost, but I've had some unexplainable experiences.
A framed photograph of my son and his family walking on a beach is on our fireplace mantel. One day, we found it lying on the floor; the glass cracked and sand scattered on the floor. After a closer look, we realized it had hit another framed photo displayed on a plastic stand. That stand was weighted down with sand.
Since it was on the mantel for many months, how it slipped off is a mystery. And the sand? Somebody has a sense of humor.
Another unusual experience happened two days after my wife passed in 2013; it was September 29th. I was reminiscing through a file folder labeled "keepsakes." I found an old, yellowed envelope addressed to me. Inside was a handwritten poem penned by my grandmother after her husband died. The title was "How Long Shall I Weep." It was dated September 29th, 1967.
Forty-six years to the day, I held that poem in my hand, and I cried. A more detailed version will be in the second memoir.

2/22/2024 11:01:30 am

Those unexplained occurrences are interesting, without a doubt. We will never know for sure on this side of our mortality, that much is certain.

I would cry also. Hearing from your grandmother like that must have brought you some comfort.

New question.

How many drafts did your book go through before publishing?

steve schuler

2/22/2024 11:14:36 am

I don't even want to go there; far too many, six or more. The first couple are brutal, but the rest are a matter of refinement. I am never satisfied with my writing. I let my writing cook for a day or two, then reread it and make changes. I can do that infinitely. I learned to make myself quit.

2/22/2024 12:57:46 pm

Six or more? Some authors finish in double-digit drafts. You had it pretty easy, relatively speaking. Some new writers try to produce a perfect first draft which is an exercise in futility and frustration. Sometimes the author gets so caught up in those details they lose touch with their muse. Frequently, the writer gives up because their first draft can't begin to compare to a well-edited, published book. As so many authors have learned, the first draft has only one purpose and that is to exist outside of the author's head.

Striving for perfection with a seemingly unending series of edits is something many authors struggle with. Some even use it as an excuse to avoid publication because they are afraid their book won't sell.

New questions.

Who designed the cover of your book? Feel free to drop a link if appropriate.

How many drafts did the cover go through?

2/23/2024 07:02:34 am

I designed the cover. Each item pictured is part of the story. The emerald cross was a gift from an aunt when she found out Lilla was pregnant. The medallion became pivotal in our relationship during a day at the Michigan State Fair. The pearl ring represents a turning point in our relationship. The paper was the first handwritten page marking the beginning of our story. I put the items together, took a photograph, and sent it to a graphic designer. He added the text. I only made two changes, both concerning the font and text layout.

2/23/2024 08:14:01 am

The cover represents your story quite well.

New questions.

Was it hard to come up with the title?

What was the process?

2/23/2024 02:10:17 pm

The essence of the title, Rock, Paper, Innocence, is revealed within the story.
In the 1960s, the game rock, paper, scissors was quite common. Balling your fist represented rock. Holding your hand flat, indicated paper, and two spread fingers suggested scissors. Rock crushed scissors, paper covered rock, and scissors cut paper. My default choice was rock, and Lilla knew it. When we played that silly game, she would always be paper. I was fiercely competitive, and Lilla was gentle and compassionate. She was the only person I would intentionally let win. In a way, the game represented our personalities. I learned that harshly when a group of teenagers attacked me while at the state fair. I was on the ground, my nose bleeding, and Lilla hovered over me. It was a life-changing moment, the rock being protected. It was the first time I experienced that much compassion.
Innocence represents the baby we brought into this world. It was an unsettling time and tore our relationship apart.

2/23/2024 03:37:05 pm

My family still plays the game occasionally, especially the younger granddaughters.

I recall the state fair scene, it was disturbing and brutal.

Innocence certainly describes a baby. That is beautiful.

New question.

Who was the first person to inspire you to write?

2/23/2024 05:26:43 pm

Two people come to mind. The first was an author who stimulated my desire to read, and I loved to read. The author was Alexandre Dumas, and the book was The Count of Monte Cristo.
Reading became my way of escaping the world I felt trapped in as a child. While I fell in love with the art, I didn't believe I had the talent or ability to write. But I could read, and I had the time.

My second inspiration came from an English teacher. In my thirties, I returned to school and received an AA in general education. I took the primary classes just skating through while working to raise a family. After a short story writing assignment, the teacher returned my graded paper. Although she gave me an A, there were a couple of questionable red marks indicating grammar or spelling errors. I didn't know what they meant, so I asked about them after class. She started rereading my paper and finding other errors.
Kiddingly, I asked, "Are you going to change my grade?
She said, "No, I won't. I was so caught up in your story that I didn't notice some of these mistakes. You have a nice writing style that keeps the reader in the story. But you do need to work on your punctuation and spelling."
I am still poor at spelling and never know where to put the commas. (In steps Mark Schultz).

2/23/2024 06:10:40 pm

Reading was my escape as a child also. I grew up on a small, non-working farm that left me with a lot of free time on my hands. Trying to write a book never entered my mind. There were so many books I wanted to read.

The English language is so complex and a lot of it doesn't make sense. It has absorbed bits and pieces from so many other cultures and times that one thing or another doesn't fit logically with the others.

Commas are the most misunderstood punctuation mark in my mind, next to the ellipsis, perhaps. Commas serve so many functions and can make a big difference sometimes. With so many rules for commas don't beat yourself up too much.

New question.

What reality show, current or not, would you like to be on?

2/23/2024 08:02:30 pm

I have never gotten hooked on reality shows. I watched The Apprentice and a few episodes of Big Brother, but only because my wife liked them. I would avoid that type of exposure like I have avoided book signing. I find self-promotion difficult. Not that I wouldn't or couldn't, but I would not seek that exposure, at least not at this time. It may happen when I have another book to promote.

2/23/2024 08:50:15 pm

I am with you about reality shows. The inanity is enough to drive me insane. Survivor held my attention for a few episodes but that was my limit.

Self-promotion is very difficult and uncomfortable. allow me to flip the script for a moment. When people have a problem or a lack, being the one to bring the answer they seek and fulfill their need is a rewarding experience for all involved. Doing a promotional event such as a book signing or reading is an excellent example of meeting a want or desire that people have. Meeting an author is an exciting moment for so many and can be an event they will talk about for a long time. After all, no one knows a book better than the author. You are not promoting yourself; you are promoting your book. I encourage you to meet the people who adore your book or will adore your book.

New question.

How long had you been writing before the first short story was published?

2/25/2024 03:13:50 pm

I am old enough to say I began writing long before the invention of computers. If something exciting or unique happened, I would write about it. Often, I could barely read my writing because my thoughts flowed faster than I could write. My wife says I scribble like a doctor. My first short story, Mayflyer, was handwritten ten years before publication in 2016. There were so many misspellings and questionable words that it was not readable. I'm so thankful for spell check and wordsmiths like Mark Schultz. I still prefer writing in cursive since I type at about 2 MPH.

2/25/2024 03:27:34 pm

I certainly understand about words flowing faster than the hand can write or type. My cursive handwriting is nearly illegible, even to me, if I am in a hurry. When I take my time, it is quite readable but far from pretty. I print much of the time because it's easier to read for me and others. My typing is probably five words per minute, considering the mistakes I make.

When spellcheck first came out I thought my proofreading career was over. It didn't take long for me to realize my fears were unfounded. With hallucinating and prevaricating artificial intelligence in the news I am still not worried. AI is good at combing through massive amounts of information most of the time. I am good a finding the spelling errors that are always present.

New questions.

Is this your newest book?

Will you be writing more?

2/25/2024 05:54:52 pm

Rock, Paper, Innocence is my last published book.
Currently, I have two stories in the works. One is a second memoir with a working title Rock, Paper, Defiance. The second one combines bike racing experiences with training information and how to race to win. My writing is a bit stalled since I've spread myself too thin and have trouble focusing.

2/25/2024 06:01:55 pm

Your fans will be glad to know that. Readers always like to know that their favorite author will write more.

New questions.

What do you think of the current controversy regarding AI?

Did you use AI in any of your writing or planning for your books?

2/25/2024 06:39:21 pm

I have yet to delve into the dark side of AI writing. People who pump books out for financial gain may be the first to go there. I can't even imagine how AI will sell your soul.

I write because I have something to say, and I want to say it my way. I have used Grammarly but prefer MS Word for spelling and common grammatical errors. Good writers have a unique voice, and writing software messes with that. The best tool is to write your own story and work with an editor who knows your style.

All the great writers have a distinct style. I was a fan of James Patterson, but his move to grind out books with co-authors has tainted him.

Honestly, I am behind the curve in terms of the latest technology. When I understand it, I may change my mind. But for now, I am not in a hurry; there are lumps in the batter, and the temperature is not right.

2/25/2024 07:49:12 pm

Artificial intelligence is overblown by most people. Most people don't understand it including the programmers.

A short story can be written in the style of almost any major author because AI has been fed many thousands of e-books that are easily available on the internet.

Every author has a unique voice until they attempt to imitate another author.

The AI cake is severely undercooked, don't rush out to buy anytime soon.

New questions.

Have you encountered a troll reviewing one of your books?

How did you handle it?

2/26/2024 09:44:39 am

I have not had a personal book troll. But that would be funny if it weren't too malicious. I did have a family member follow me on a Twitter account that I used to vent my political views. I found out this person was anonymously following me when he reproached me at a family gathering. At first, he seemed embarrassed when he realized he had outed himself by mentioning the tweet. He knew I knew, which fueled his anger, but it didn't end there. I'll DM the tweet to you.

2/26/2024 10:27:13 am

Most of the trolls are very malicious, unfortunately. When they do leave some semblance of a review it isn't hard to see that they didn't read the book. Like wild animals, they should not be approached or fed. That being said, I suggest to authors they welcome a negative review or two. No book is universally loved and adored. A negative review proves that the other reviews are not products of a family member or friend.

I avoid politics for the most part. I don't follow back a lot of people who follow me because all of their content is politics. I remove many of them following me.

Last question.

What was the first paying job you worked as a kid and how old were you?

2/26/2024 11:33:33 am

My first job was cleaning pots and pans, clearing tables, and sweeping floors in a doughnut shop. I made a dollar an hour and a free breakfast. The waitress would give me fifty cents out of her tip money. That job was on Saturday and Sunday mornings. I was fourteen years old. The year was 1963.

I also worked Friday nights at a local liquor store, stocking coolers and fronting shelves. One night, I forgot to bring a jacket and nearly froze to death. The walk-in coolers were kept at around forty degrees.
The shop owner paid me two dollars regardless of how long I worked or how much I suffered. He also gave me a coke, which was ten cents. At first, it took more than three hours to get the job done. Eventually, I got it down to under two hours on most nights. He taught me a valuable lesson on work ethics.

2/26/2024 12:28:35 pm

In 1963, a dollar an hour was a good wage for a teen. I am sure you never forgot your jacket again also. That was very cold!

Thank you, Steve for being a wonderful guest on the Word Refiner channel. Not only did I enjoy your book, chatting with you has been awesome!

I have another promotion starting tomorrow so our time here must come to an end.

Until next time, keep on writing.

3/8/2024 04:48:44 pm

Mark, I'm sorry for this delayed response to your last post. You are a gracious host and an incredibly awesome interviewer. Your questions were thought-provoking and took me down old paths I'd forgotten. This interview process has been a powerful confidence builder for me, not to mention opening the door to new readers and fellow Twitter X friends.
I hope to remain friends on this writer's journey.

Write on,
Steve Schuler

Rock, Paper, Innocence: A Memoir of Love and Loss by Steve Schuler

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