Please Believe Me by Shirley Aumack

5/8/2021

Finding My Voice and Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse

Debut author, Shirley Aumack introduces us to her memoir about healing from child sex abuse:
All She Ever Wanted Was to Believe She Was Loved When she quietly confronted her father asking him to stop sexually abusing her as a little girl, she got this tirade from her father: "No one cares what I do to you. I don't love you, no one loves you, and no one will EVER love you." How does a little girl ever heal from this? Compounding the pain of this horrific, inhumane message and the sexual abuse starting when she was eight years old was having a mother who was emotionally vacant. Shirley Aumack never received any affection from her, never heard the words, "I love you" or any such affirming messages. She never attempted to tell her mother about the abuse and never found anyone to confide in who would believe her. It is common for people who have endured such hellish abuse to overcompensate their feelings of low self-worth by excelling at everything they do. And Shirley is no exception. Throughout her life, she has excelled at everything--academically, professionally, personally as a mother, wife, friend, and in every role she has impressively had love as her guiding force. Lois Einhorn, PhD, author of Forgiveness and Child Abuse: Would YOU Forgive? writes about PLEASE BELIEVE ME: "Shirley is a gifted storyteller making the book a quick read. But her messages will stay with me for a very long time. She covers unflinchingly details of her life including her despair and devastation. But her book is not only of surviving but also of thriving. In addition to horrifying images, she includes laugh-out-loud stories. Ultimately this book is inspiring and empowering, hopeful and healing. Shirley's life serves as a testament to the preciousness of all life, the transformative power of love, the triumph of the human spirit, and the need for humor."

It is an astonishing and well-written story. As difficult as the subject may be, the author does not hesitate to share the devastating experience of being raped by her father and the lifelong effects. These effects were made worse by her empty, egocentric mother. The pastor of her church failed her also for reasons we will never know.
Her writing is very clear and the good and the bad are shared with appropriate humor. Her children are a testimony to her efforts to care for them much better than she was cared for by her own parents.
I award 4.8 stars to “Please Believe Me”.

You can buy this book:
https://rdrpublishers.com/please-believe-me-finding-my-voice-and-surviving-childhood-sexual-abuse
https://www.amazon.com/Please-Believe-Me-Surviving-Childhood
https://www.goodreads.com/please-believe-me

You can follow the author:
https://www.pleasebelieveme610.com
https://www.facebook.com/shirley.aumack
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shirley-aumack

Tags: child sexual abuse, emotional abuse, PTSD, healing, recovery, panic attacks, adult survivor, memoir

Copyright © 2021 Mark L. Schultz except for the author’s introduction

51 Comments

Shirley Aumack link

5/10/2021 02:34:58 pm

Thank you for your significant reviews on both Amazon and Goodreads. The book was difficult to write but I am pleased that you understood my purpose for writing this book. Sexual abuse at any age stunts an individual's ability to be successful in life. It deters them from having the self confidence needed to believe in themselves. I struggled with this throughout my life but constantly forced myself to continue fighting each time my confidence waned. I never stopped fighting and I want to help others to find their strength to do the same.

Mark

5/10/2021 02:51:17 pm

You are welcome. The sad truth is that so many kids have been abused in many different ways, by the people they should have been able to trust.
First question.
Please, tell us more about yourself. Perhaps something a little bit beyond your bio.

5/10/2021 03:21:12 pm

I love to travel. That started after my time in Guatemala as an exchange student.. It was such a wonderful time in my life and allowed me to be "me", the real me, for the first time in my life. I lived with a new and different family. They showed me love and affection and they cared for me. I never got this at home. I was peaceful and my heart was not afraid of anything. My Guatemalan parents actually loved me and treated me like a daughter. I went on many adventures with them and learned who I really am. It had an amazing impact on me and changed my life forever. When I got home, I knew that I didn't deserve to be in "my life" and from that time forward I became the real me and truly found my own place in this world.

5/10/2021 03:31:50 pm

Travel is a huge eye-opener! I traveled around in Western Europe for a little over 2 months in the early 70s. I learned a great deal about myself by traveling solo most of the time. My experience doesn't really compare with yours.
New questions.
Do you plan on doing anymore writing?
Will you write more non-fiction or try your hand at fiction?

5/10/2021 04:00:53 pm

I have already written a children's book called "Thank You For Keeping Me Safe". It still needs
some tweaking so I have more work to do. As the name implies, it is a book to teach children how to stay safe in our world. I think it will also help parents because sometimes they don't think about some of the issues I discuss and it also puts difficult situations in words that will help parents start conversations about difficult topics. I'll give you a few examples. Let me know if you want more.
Thank you for teaching me a code word so no stranger could ever say "I was told to pick you up". I shouldn't go with them without our code word. Our code word is ______________.
Thank you for telling me that I can tell you if something bad happens to me no matter what anyone says will happen if I tell you.
Thank you for teaching me not to eat anything I see in the yard like berries or fruit or mushrooms.
There are 30 of these points.
With my children I always called them "life lessons" and our code word was "Dukes of Hazard".

5/10/2021 04:20:39 pm

That sounds like a great book! I hope you finish it soon and get it out there. Those are important life lessons.
We had an agreement with our kids as they approached the teen years. If they were ever in an uncomfortable situation with other people, regardless of the time of day or night, I would go pick them up. Fortunately, that emergency pick up was never activated.
New questions.
Who designed the cover of your book? Feel free to drop a link if appropriate.
This next question might seem obvious, except that I sometimes miss something the author intended. What do the elements on the cover represent?

5/10/2021 04:44:33 pm

The cover was a joint effort between the publisher, www.rdrpublishers.com, and me, I lived on a peninsula between two rivers and the Atlantic Ocean for over 40 years. I always loved the ocean views and, on my journey to write the book and also my journey through life, I thought about the many times I would ponder my life while staring at the beautiful ocean views, The photo of the ocean really touched me and my silhouette on the cover seemed perfect to me.

5/10/2021 05:34:09 pm

I like the cover a great deal. The ocean is a favorite place of mine also.
New questions.
Was it hard to come up with the title? What was the process?
Have you entered any writing contests?

5/10/2021 06:08:27 pm

I have never entered any writing contests.
The title...an interesting question. I had an editor who worked with me almost from the beginning. She was a client of mine who wrote a great deal and also reviewed movies, books and articles. We had a l-o-n-g list of ideas for titles that I shared with Cleone and Bob Reed, my publishers. Somehow, after looking at all the possibilities we came together with the title. I chose "Please Believe Me" because so many people do not believe survivors of ANY age. Even one of my cousins wrote to me after reading the book and told me she did not believe my story. I never got to talk to her because she died suddenly after I heard from her. I think "Finding My Voice" came from how old I was before I started writing my book and "Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse" came from wanting people to know that it is possible to survive and to thrive after this happens to them. When we put together these three phrases together it was perfect!

5/11/2021 09:54:06 am

If you are going to keep writing contests can be a good way to sharpen your writing skills. Some contests offer feedback on the entries. Here is a copy-and-paste link about signs to be aware of: Beware Bogus Writing Contests! Look for These 8 Red Flags. https://annerallen.com/2019/05/beware-bogus-writing-contests
The process of choosing a title is very important. It's the first thing that a prospective reader sees besides the thumbnail cover. If the title doesn't grab then the reader will likely pass.
I think you made a good choice. All of the titles were good.
Sorry to hear about your cousin, her disbelief is not all that uncommon from what I have heard. A family friend retired from counseling abuse survivors and has shared a little about sessions in the past. She had one client who had DID, this woman was diabetic but when a certain personality manifested her diabetes went away for as long as the personality was out. She had a doctor check her blood.
New questions.
Have you thought about writing fiction short stories or a novel?
What genre do you think you would start with?

5/11/2021 11:07:34 am

I am not planning to write any fiction short stories or novels. However, I would like to write magazine or newspaper articles at some point about my story in order to keep the topic of sexual abuse in the public eye. And not just childhood abuse but also adult abuse victims. This abuse often halts these victims from their journey to reach their goals in life.

5/11/2021 11:49:50 am

That is a good idea. There are those who have the same goal, maybe you could do some cross-blogging with them. Your voice will certainly help keep the awareness up front.
New questions.
Every genre's fans have expectations about what they are going to want to read. Fans of cozy mysteries have a set of expectations that can differ greatly from the expectations of fans of hard-boiled murder mysteries.
What expectations do fans of your genre look for in a story that they want to read?

5/11/2021 01:06:48 pm

Help first and foremost. And advice as to how to handle the situations I face and where to find help. How to know that I am looking in the correct places and getting the help I need.
Next comes empathy. Hearing that others are facing the same issues in their lives. Seeing that others have made it through the process that survivors endure and knowing that I, too, can make it!
Discovery of aspects of survival that I never realized I was struggling through in my daily life such as learning about my inner child and the journey that must be endured to heal her.
Hope that I can be in this constant battle knowing that others have made in to their safe place. Hope that I will know when the issues arise I can face them while also knowing how to face them.
And, finally, peace. The peace that comes with understanding oneself. And the overwhelming peace that triumphs over the past horrors I have faced.
And a place where those around me and the wider world can go to understand where I have been and what I have endured. And, most of all, that the wider world knows that my past stays with me forever.

5/11/2021 01:58:47 pm

I have no doubt about those qualities and attributes, In one word, Hope. Survivors of abuse and trauma need hope to keep moving forward.
Most scars are not visible and a person can be very sick without it being known by others much of the time.
New questions.
I noticed that you didn’t put your book in Kindle Unlimited. Why is that?
Have you ever gone through the query process, seeking an agent, submitting directly to traditional publishers or did you go straight to indie publishing or self-publishing, and why?

5/11/2021 02:22:17 pm

Kindle Unlimited: I don't know what that is or how to put the book on Kindle Unlimited.
I contacted many publishers and agents before being chosen by Robert D. Reed Publishers who were willing to publish the book for me.

5/11/2021 03:01:51 pm

Kindle Unlimited is a program that allows authors to place their book into a subscription program for readers. The author is paid by how many pages have been read. The author is required to place their book only with Amazon for several months to participate in this program. Some authors do well many not so much. It is one option among many.
New questions.
Have you had contact with a vanity publisher or a company you thought might be trying to scam you?
Was it difficult to choose between self-publishing and independent publishing?

5/11/2021 03:18:16 pm

Yes but I knew better than to get involved.
No, I really liked Bob and Cleone from the beginning and did not want to self publish. I found them by ggogling publishers that had published books about sexual abuse.

5/11/2021 08:33:25 pm

I am very happy to hear that you didn't fall prey to their schemes. Many authors have in the past.
Some of the scammers are starting to impersonate mid-level editors of traditional publishing houses or agents of known agencies. Looking for confirmation that this person works there will give you a positive result and they got you, if you are not on your toes. As soon as they ask for money upfront that is the time to show them the door.
New questions.
What are the three most important considerations for an independent author to be certain of when signing a contract with a publisher?
Is using Twitter and other social media part of your marketing strategy? What other marketing ideas do you use?

5/12/2021 11:27:56 am

1. Read the contract over several times very carefully and make as many notes as you need to be sure you have a full understanding of the contract.
2, Next, contact the publisher with any questions you have on the contract and make sure you understand the answers.
3. Contact an attorney that specializes in book publishing (larger firms have attorneys that do this; I found my attorney through our estate attorney.) These attorneys also have knowledge of the publishing business as a whole and know if the publisher is legitimate.
I have posted on FaceBook and Linkedin but not on Twitter.
I planned to do in person presentations and book signings but these have not been available as of yet because of the pandemic. However, I have done zoom presentations. I have had articles in my college alumni magazine, some of which have not been published as of yet. I plan to contact colleges and universities to see if they would like me to make presentations on this topic both for survivors and also for students majoring in such subjects as psychology and sociology. My book came out at precisely the wrong time with the pandemic raging. I also plan to reach out to police and practicing psychologists and social workers as well as abused women and children shelters. I don't think I have mentioned this to you yet but all of the net proceeds of the book will be donated to places where children can tell their stories only once and these discussions with the appropriate professionals can even be used in court to prevent more trauma to the victims. I am sure there are many other ways to market the book but I think for me this will be a good start.

5/12/2021 01:08:12 pm

That is great advice for an author. Contracts are forever until they reach a designated end and everything is negotiable in the contract. The shadier contracts never end and an author can lose all control of a book.
A lot of authors like doing in-person events, some do fairs, farmers markets, and comic conventions; others pursue book signings and readings, or speaking to civic groups and book clubs. Some authors always carry a box of books in the car trunk, still others have bookmarks made so people can buy the book online.
You are pursuing a great plan to spread your message and sell books.
New questions.
Did you use ads on Amazon or other platforms such as Facebook or Bookbub?
Do you subscribe to any author newsletters?

5/12/2021 03:14:05 pm

No, I did not use any ads. I do subscribe to Writers Digest but it really doesn't help much after the book is published. It doesn't help with marketing. I do not currently subscribe to any author newsletters...I never thought about that. I would be open to using one of those resources.

5/12/2021 03:42:29 pm

I subscribe to at least 20 author newsletters. There is lots of variety. Authors send out newsletters to let their fans know about writing updates, special offers and so forth. For the author it can be a secure way to sell their book and keep a greater portion of the profits. The author can also offer custom autographed copies, which can make good gifts.
In marketing circles, collecting emails is a golden rule, for publishers the email list is a large percentage of guaranteed sales when a new book comes out.
There are many different angles to pursue. I know a mystery writer that blogs about true crime stories every week. Until Covid, her blogs were about crimes by or against kids in schools.
New question.
Have you thought about using Kickstarter or other crowd-funding platforms to pay for publishing or production of books or special editions? Here is one example, granted, it is extreme because the author has a large number of fans: https://kriswrites.com/2020/07/22/business-musings-the-kickstarted-game-changer-part-two/ Copy and paste time again.
This is another example of where a mailing list is very useful.

5/12/2021 04:03:41 pm

You have given me some new ideas to try. Also, I live in a condominium community with about 1200 units. I have sent emails to people that I know and have had a very positive response. I also had my own business for 35 years so I had the mailing lists from that endeavor as well. I also hope to create a blog. I am also planning to have my website show places in each state where children can be treated in one place as I mentioned before.

5/12/2021 04:40:01 pm

Glad to be of service. Those are great ideas.
You already know some about mailing lists. There are many companies who will assist you with operating and maintaining those lists for a fee. It can be a lot of work, many authors prefer to pass that on to others. A number of blogs have been written about the advantage and disadvantage of the major services. If you type mailing list in the search box at the bottom of the page you will have links to blogs to read. A good place to start.
New questions.
Have you thought about trying to get your book into libraries? Here is a copy-and-paste link with more information: https://www.thecreativepenn.com/2019/06/12/book-marketing-how-to-get-your-book-into-libraries
Have you thought about doing an audio book?

5/12/2021 04:56:56 pm

I hadn't thought about that besides libraries that I know or have used. That is a great idea and one that I can work on for sure!
I would love to do an audio book but I would want to read my book for the audio book.
I will keep you posted on how I am using your ideas. Is that okay with you?
Also, I have a question for you that I have been thinking about for awhile. Is there any way for me to ask a bookseller, for example Amazon, how many books they have sold?

5/12/2021 05:37:45 pm

English audio books are a big business all over the world. There are a lot of countries where English is the official language, not America ironically, and many other countries where English is taught as a second language. Many of the residents of the poorer countries can access the internet only through a cell phone. So, an audio book is an ideal way to deliver a story to millions. There are a lot of blogs about audio books, use the search box below again. There is at least one blog about doing it yourself.
I would love to receive progress updates, also good material for a newsletter.
Since you went through a publisher, that question should be directed to them. If you go to self-publishing then you would have access to that information.
New questions.
For reading fun or pleasure, what is your favorite genre?
Do you have a favorite book by another author or just favorite authors?

5/12/2021 09:07:50 pm

My absolute favorite genre is autobiographies and next is biographies. We learn about people after they have been successful. Many people think these people were born successful. However, everyone has a back story. And almost all successful people have an amazing story with many twists and turns and many obstacles that have been overcome. Real life stories are the best! The truth is almost always better than fiction.
I love Barack Obama’s first autobiography “Dreams from My Father” and “The Audacity of Hope”. I just purchased his new book “A Promised Land” and can’t wait to read it.

5/13/2021 08:47:20 am

I love biographies also, but my top two favorites are science fiction and fantasy. I will almost always pick that up first for pleasure reading.
New questions.
Did you have a favorite book as a child?
Do you ever read a book more than once? If so, which one?

5/13/2021 01:00:41 pm

It's been a long time since my childhood! I don't have any books that jump out to me. However, I do remember that I loved the Nancy Drew stories a great deal. In addition, I spent most of my free time reading as a child. I was always at the town library. Reading was a true escape and a joy for me. Also I always read alone in my room or at the library so I was away from everyone.
I don't believe I have ever read a book twice but I have certainly re-visited books to find information that I wanted.

5/13/2021 01:38:17 pm

Childhood is in the far distant past for us both.
I read everything I could get my hands on as a child. I remember a long running series called The Happy Hollisters, a large family, 6 or 7 kids, who solved crimes in the neighborhood. We had encyclopedias, a set of condensed classic books and stories, and a 6" thick, illustrated dictionary. That thing weighed quite a bit.
I remember when I got my own library card at the public library, I felt so grown up.
There are quite a few books I have read more than once, partly due to lack of other books. I fell i n love with fantasy in junior high and read The Lord of the Rings three times by the end of my senior year of high school.
New questions.
In general terms, does writing have a spiritual or healing component for you, does it energize you or make you feel tired at the end of a good writing session?
Why is it important for writers to tap into the emotions of the characters?

5/13/2021 07:14:15 pm

This may sound like a surprising answer...it always gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I set a goal and I accomplished it. In the name of my website you see the number 610. That is the day, June 6th, that I held the published book in my hands for the first time. I set a goal and I achieved it.
During my career I wrote many letters to government authorities such as the Internal Revenue Service for my clients. They had to be clear, precise and concise. They had to make the complicated issues simple to understand. And they worked! It was a true skill to be able to do this and many times I was complimented by the authorities for these explanations. I believe I was able to successfully transfer this skill to make my book complex, readable and understandable as well.
I did not have to tap into the emotions of a character in my book. It was about my emotions and the emotions of my husband and my children.
Emotions of characters make a book real and believable. If there are no emotions expressed there is no book.

5/13/2021 08:02:42 pm

Thanks for explaining about your website, I had meant to ask you. That was a wonderful day for you! Did you do something special to celebrate?
That is a very important skill. Keeping it simple works to the advantage of writer and reader alike.
New questions.
Are you an under-writer or an over-writer?
When the first draft is done, do you need to add more to flesh it out or do you have to cut material because there is too much?

5/13/2021 08:28:39 pm

Neither. Ironically I asked my husband your question and he immediately answered "neither" as I said here! He knows me well. I change the text by adding, subtracting or changing words to make it clearer and stronger. but the thoughts, my thoughts, are already there.

5/14/2021 06:29:40 am

Wonderful. So many authors are over-writers, quite a few are under-writers also. Some authors write only one draft and edit it forever, others write and save multiple drafts as a record of their work.
New questions.
What did you do to flesh out the characters in your book?
How did you give them depth?

5/14/2021 09:47:10 am

Think. Think long and hard.
Remember. This also takes a great deal of research with the people in my life.
Verify. Make sure that what you say is true.
Words. Use clear words and concepts to make your thoughts clear.

5/14/2021 03:57:19 pm

That makes a lot of sense. Dealing with real people is different from fictional characters. Real people have feelings and their memories of events might differ from yours and other people who were involved or at least witnesses to a shared event. If sensitivities are bruised it can be difficult going to write a complete recounting of certain events. Of course, there is the getting-their-permission thing also to include them in the book. I can see where that could lead to a lot of work.
New questions.
What is your writing routine when you sit down to write?
Do you write in a straight line or do you write whatever the muse provides for you at a given moment?

5/14/2021 09:07:29 pm

I don't write in any kind of straight line. I write in sections. As you know the book is not in date order. I talk about my father and mother's families, for example, from beginning to end. Then on to the next chapter.
These sections speak to the reader and set the tone for the next section.
Then it is on to the next section. It just comes to me and I know that I must write that part. And it just flows from my brain to the paper. Almost instinctively. Once I start the next part of the story the writing just happens.
The journey to write my book was wonderful. Even the tough parts were clear to me although they were difficult to put on paper. My mind was open and ready to put my words on paper. When I wrote it was with great purpose. I wanted everyone, the world, to know about the tragedy I lived through as a child. And I desperately wanted the world to know how this changed my life and the lives of anybody who tragically lived through these horrible and life changing events. Most of all, I wanted people to know that life was worth living, no matter what. And that, although the rough parts are extremely difficult, there were and are so many wonderful times to live for. And I was trying to write the book so that the general public would better understand the life and lives of sexual abuse survivors. It's funny...kind of like what I just wrote, it just flows!

5/15/2021 08:01:38 am

A lot of books are written with flashbacks, jumping around in the linear timeline whether fiction or non-fiction. It's not too bad when there is only one plotline. With several plotlines in progress it can be downright confusing at times. If the chapters are short, that can be helpful for the reader to keep track of the different plots.
New questions.
Do you ever experience writer’s block and what do you do if you get stuck?
Which is more important to a story pace or flow? How do you control it?

5/15/2021 03:04:17 pm

I don't believe that I experienced writer's block in writing my book.
To me, flow is most important to me. Not that I wrote in order of events as I said before. But I believe that flow is what makes a good book and makes that reader want to continue to read, read, read the book. Many people who read my book have said it is a quick read because of the flow. I think you also said that!
One thing that I never mentioned before but I believe is so important for writers is that I never was anywhere without something to write on...next to my bed, in my pocket or pocketbook, in the car, in the grocery store, in the bathroom, on the beach, on a walk. Ideas come into our brains in many places. Have something to write on no matter where you are!!!

5/15/2021 03:19:28 pm

Your book flows quite well. The work you put into it is proven.
Being ready to record ideas is very important. A number of writers have told me that they even keep a notepad beside the bed to record the ideas their muse leaves them. One author reported that her muse wakes her up at 2:30 in the morning almost every night. She wishes her muse would live in a time zone closer to her.
Another author mentioned that she was visited regularly during her morning shower and she couldn't get out fast enough to write the ideas down, thus she lost many good ideas. I recommended she get a pad of waterproof paper and a Space pen, because that pen can write anywhere at any angle. She was grateful.
A lot of authors make notes or voice memos on their phone.
New questions.
Now that your book is published, is there anything about it you would like to change?
Do you have a classical author or poet, you admire?

5/15/2021 03:51:34 pm

There is something I wish I had made clearer in the book. The fact that after I tried to commit suicide when I was 13 by putting a plastic bag over my head and realized that my parents would never be there for me I began to suppress my memories of the child abuse. I should have made this clearer to the reader but it happened over a period of years so it was difficult to put it into the book in that context. By the time I was 15 I had done a pretty good job of that. I had decided that I had to live with them until I went away to college but they had never been and would never be there for me. I was brave enough and mature enough to be able to take on the mantle of growing up on my shoulders with no regrets. I had my grandmother to lean on as the only adult in my life that I could count on for anything and I stayed away from my parents as much as I could and never again counted on them. And then I went away to Guatemala and lived in a "normal" family and found my boyfriend before I went to Guatemala and who was there when I returned who would become my husband and the rock of my life along with my grandmother. As I said in the dedication of my book, they made me the me I am today.
I will forever be proud of my life journey.

5/15/2021 05:15:25 pm

That was a moment full of despair. Your suicide attempt was not very surprising.
You might be able to add a few lines and bring clarity to the story. It certainly would be easy for the e-book and the POD paperback. If a print run was made there is no going back for that, of course.
New questions.
Are there any authors that influenced you to become a writer?
If you could meet your favorite author, what would you ask them?

5/15/2021 08:15:24 pm

My story convinced me to be an author. No other author convinced me to write the book. I wanted to tell my story to help others, both survivors and those who need to understand the lasting effects of sexual abuse at any age.
I would love to meet Frank McCourt who wrote Angela's Ashes. The book is about survival, a very different kind of survival, but survival nonetheless. A great and powerful book that searches through the unknown nooks and crannies of a life full of strife and struggle.
I would ask him when he knew he had to write the book and what he thinks made him come to this moment.

5/15/2021 08:27:36 pm

I am not familiar with Angela's Ashes. I went looking for it on Amazon and oddly enough I couldn't find the book. I found study guides in multiple languages, and summary books, but not the book itself. It must be an amazing book.
Sexual abuse trauma lasts for a lifetime, no doubt about that.
New questions.
Have you ever met a famous author? What happened?
What software did you use to write your book, and why do you use those?

5/15/2021 10:00:40 pm

I have shaken hands with Barack Obama but did not speak to him.
Just plain old simple Microsoft word!

5/16/2021 08:02:07 am

Many have shaken hands with famous authors, not many have shaken hands with a president. Wow.
MS Word has a huge, installed-user base. I use Office 2016 on my current laptop. I am setting up a new laptop with Office 2019.
New questions.
Are you a plotter, a pantster, or a hybrid?
I know there are many ways to build the outline. Do you do it all on the computer or do you get analog at some point with post-its or note cards?

5/18/2021 05:17:15 pm

I believe I could say both. Whatever works!
Actually, I really never used an outline. After I read this question I thought about the amount of notes, poems, letters and journals that I have and used for the book. The box they are in measures 15 x 17 x 24 and is stuffed to the gills! If I ever got stuck I just pulled something out and got back into writing. Mostly I just flew by the seat of my pants! Aside form the notes I wrote down during the odd moments when my "muse" as you called her sent me a message, the book just came out of me.
I think you need to ask me how I am doing since the book came out!

5/18/2021 08:45:17 pm

Flying (writing) by the seat of your pants is the classic definition of a pantser. I liken that to the tightrope walker who has no safety net. Many do it quite well.
Last question.
How are you doing since the book came out?

5/18/2021 10:09:12 pm

First of all, it is weird to know that people now know so much about my life...and not just the sexual abuse parts. Basically, it is all out there. But, I am so proud of the book. After all these years of wanting to write it but not being able to because of the time constraints of my business and personal life it is so wonderful to have it out there. So many people I know have read it and have had amazing things to say because I was able to hide my insecurities and depression and anxiety from everyone but my wonderful husband. That was not easy over the years. When I think of myself I think of my difficult life at times and not only my childhood. The amount of times I have been lost in me without others knowing that. Which is why I have always wanted to help people, I wanted them to feel strong inside of them. To help them be the best they could be, to help them make good decisions in their lives and to help them feel proud of themselves. To feel empowered. And I know that I did that many times. And to know that I could help myself feel those things inside myself as well. And to know that the hard times will pass. They always do. I am also finally, after all the years that I have been alive, feeling that people really do love me. They are not perfect and neither am I but their love is real and I can count on that love. I told you that Mother's Day is the worst day of the year for me. Well, not anymore. I have finally, this year, realized that I am the Mom and Grandma now and that I am the one who is loved!

5/19/2021 07:57:10 am

That is a powerful testimony to the healing you have received. Especially the feelings about Mother's day. That is an important step up the staircase of freedom.
Each of us who are honestly seeking healing and freedom are in progress. None of us will reach that goal this side of eternity.
I have another promotion beginning, so I must bring our conversation to a close at this time. I wish you much success and hope you keep on writing.

5/19/2021 08:10:06 am

Thank you for asking me to be part of your work. I have truly enjoyed my journey with you. And know that I will continue to be part of the writing community! All my best to you...

Please Believe Me by Shirley Aumack

Finding My Voice and Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse

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